Sunday, my husband rode my horse Buttercup for a few minutes, and like millions of horse crazy people all over the world, I found myself thinking: I wish my significant other would ride with me all the time.
Oh the fun we would have! We would go on trail rides every weekend! He could go to clinics with me and we would better our riding together! We could see who can best whom in dressage (or more likely get the funniest judge comment; I already know he would win with his long legs on my short horses)! He could get his own horse! He would stop complaining about the cost for hay and vet bills!
And then I remember: I dated a horse guy before. It was romantic for a time, but then came a feeling of intrusion in my chosen sport and hobby. It became a competition between us. It became “Well you know, you could be doing this instead.” In short, it became an absolute mess.
Luckily for me and the horse guy, we parted ways. He was the only horse guy I ever dated, so my experience is limited. But I have to say, I really LOVE that my significant other isn’t into horses.
For one thing, it makes me really happy to see him with my horses. Like stupid, ridiculous happy. Instead of me feeling jealous or nitpicking how he’s handling them, all I’m thinking is “Awww cute! He never spends time with them and look how sweet he is! He’s trying!”
For another, I need my own damn thing. You can have yours. I need my own. I need my alone time with my own special thing that is completely mine. I realize that is a personal failing on my part. I promise I talk to a very expensive therapist about it (she just happens to have hooves and agrees with everything I say so long as I have peppermints).
For a while, my husband was an avid golfer. This worked out extremely well: I had my horses, and he had golf. Sure, I’d try to hit a few balls with him, but he knew it was just me trying to enjoy his hobby, just like him hopping on my horse to walk around wasn’t going to be a full-time thing. We were a couple with very different hobbies who came home to each other. I’d ask him about golf, and he’d say (in his best Ryan Gosling meme impression) “Tell me about all the cute things your horse did today.” My husband is no longer golfing but that doesn’t mean he will impede onto my hobby any time soon. And for that, I am thankful, even if I love seeing him with my horses.